I have been suffering from some extreme preemie guilt. Last year was Walker's 1st Christmas and he was very sick. Walker was sick for all his first holidays, actually. I have this inner desire to make sure that I make this holiday season the very best for him. So much so that I have told family I want to get Walker a Christmas outfit for every day leading up to Christmas.
No one gets it. And that's okay. I am doing it for myself, I know. But I never want him to ask why he never had a cute "My 1st Christmas" outfit or special momentum. When I think about last year I feel physically ill. It was such a hard time for us. I feel like I didn't do anything special for him. I really wanted to paint his hand and put it on an ornament but he was fragile and we were scared.
I know to must that this doesn't make sense and I'm talking crazy, but for as long as I live I will make every holiday the best that I can for Walker.
No one gets it. And that's okay. I am doing it for myself, I know. But I never want him to ask why he never had a cute "My 1st Christmas" outfit or special momentum. When I think about last year I feel physically ill. It was such a hard time for us. I feel like I didn't do anything special for him. I really wanted to paint his hand and put it on an ornament but he was fragile and we were scared.
I know to must that this doesn't make sense and I'm talking crazy, but for as long as I live I will make every holiday the best that I can for Walker.
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