Days 10-14

Day 10: November 7, 2011- Walker had a good day. His levels of oxygen and pressure were decreased. He's on antibiotics again because he tested positive for an infection. Infections are common in preemies. Poor babies have to endure so much. If you know a preemie or have one yourself, they are so strong. Walker should still be growing inside of me and yet he's out early and his body is responding to the outside world wonderfully. He's going to have set backs and bad days as we call them. We cautiously celebrate every good day or good results. Today Walker was put on his tummy. He looked so long and looks like a little man. Mommy thinks that she will have a blonde hair, blue eyed boy. Papa thinks Walker looks just like his Daddy. Daddy reassures Mommy that Walker has her thinking chin. Something you expecting mothers out there should know, babies cry in the womb. Walker cries. Not real tears yet but you can see it in his face and his eyes get red and misty. I can't wait to hold him and feel him next to me. Tonight Nurse Stacie suggested I leave my milk supply at home. Walker's milk supply has taken over the whole top shelf of the freezer in the NICU. They are running out of room. Mommy is trying her hardest and is pumping away at home.

He loves his tummy!

Here you can really see his hair

He's getting so big!

Day 11: November 8, 2011- What a day! Walker has required a very low pressure on his lungs. We are SO proud! He also started his feeds tonight. We are praying extra hard that his tiny little tummy handles the food properly and doesn't have complications. Our sweet guy is working so hard!

Don't I look just like my Daddy?

I'm growing!

R always sings Martina McBride's "With a Broken Wing" when he sees Walker with his little paddle. He's my little bird!

So full and so sleepy!

Day 12: November 9, 2011- Today has been a hard day for this worn out Momma. I do have to say that I like two out of the three neonatal nurse practitioners (NNP) more. Today I had the one that I don't like as much as the first two. She commented on Walker's lungs and how on the x-ray they looked bad. I had no idea. Everyone else hadn't said anything and to be honest, Walker's lungs should look bad. He's doing things that he shouldn't be doing yet. This NNP is a "tell it like it is" and some times I can't handle it. I was pretty upset and left. I cried all afternoon and then slept until the 4 o'clock pump session. The hardest part of this all is that R and I would do whatever we had to do, give whatever we had to give, to make this sweet angel all better. But we can't, that's not how it goes. Walker has to do this on his own and he is trying so hard. I don't get worried when he has his off days because when he's on, he is fighting like a soldier. Walker was taken off feeds this evening. The x-ray showed that the milk wasn't going anywhere so they will try again tomorrow. Whenever he is ready, we know he will take to them. This is Walker's time and when he is ready, he will do everything he is supposed to. Boy's been going strong for 13 days, he deserves a rest.

"No flash, Mommy!"

He looks like he has ski boots on! He's such a boy, look at his hand placement!

Day 13: November 10, 2011- Today I was really tired and spent most of the day sleeping. Well, sleeping in 2 hour increments. I went up to see Walker and he was sleeping and all the beeping going on around us was just too much for me, so I left. I made it to my car before I broke down. Some days it's harder than others to see your baby hooked up to these monitors. I've only held Walker for a minute, maybe, in the 14 days he's been here. I'm ready to snuggle my with my little bird and hold him close. Tonight, Walker's oxygen was down low. R and I think it is because he is getting adequate amounts of sleep that is on his own time. He's not on medicine to make him comfortable so he's sleeping like he would if he was still inside. No feeds today.

He had his little arms crossed.

Day 14: November 11, 2011- Happy 2 week Birthday, Walker! Seems like you have been here forever but it's only been a short while. We love you so much and always tell you, "When you're ready you will do what you want. We are on YOUR time". I love you little bird! Walker had a second head scan and there were no brain bleeds. Another success hurdle. No pictures tonight. He was so sleepy and I don't like to use my flash. Walker is working so hard. He's on low levels on the ventilator.Still off of feeds.