Happy Due Date

It's the little things that make life worth living,


It's the little things that help us make it through.


I never knew how true those words were,


Until I first set my eyes on you.


I feared because it was too early;


I cried because it was too soon.


Yet I underestimated


The strength in one as small as you.


You were born a fighter, a warrior;


You would not quit nor move on.


You strove, you fought, you tried,


Until your battle was won.


When hope might have faded,


When the trial seemed too great,


A tiny child, despite the odds,


Fought what was thought fate.


And a little baby triumphed,


A baby thought too small to live,


A baby knew that life


Is the most precious thing to give

Oh Walker. Today was your official due date. It's amazing what you have overcome in 15 weeks. Jaundice, chronic lung disease, sepsis, nectrotizing entercolitis (NEC), A's & B's (apnea and brady spells), anemia, surgery, infection, PDA, bronchopulmonary disease (BPD), retinopathy prematurity (ROP), serratia. 

Happy 15 week birthday, Walker! 

Days 100-104

Day 100: Sunday, February 5, 2012- 100! WOW! You have been here for 100 days! Crazy how time is flying.

Today the surgeons came by and pushed the prolapsed intestines back in. Sounds uncomfortable; you however, took it like a champ! You are such a calm-nature baby.

Walker is weighing in at 2,200 grams which is 4 pounds 13 ounces. He is 44.2 centimeters long, which is about 17 and a half inches. 


Day 101: Monday, February 6, 2012-

"C'mon ride that train, WOO HOO, and ride it!"

He hates all this stuff on his face. He's getting so good at grabbing. He pulls out his cannula and tries to pull out his replogle, that's what all the tape is for.

Baby feet!

He never relaxes his big toe.

"Lullaby and goodnight, I'm falling asleep...do, do , do, doooo..."

"HEY! You woke me up with all that talking!"

 Walker is weighing in at 2,240 grams, 4 pounds 15 ounces.



Day 102: Tuesday, February 7, 2012- We are one week away from surgery and Walker was moved back to his warmer bed. He will be transferred downstairs in this bed and will stay in it for some time afterwards.

So, Walker is doing this new thing. When he hears your voice, he gets super excited and can't stand to be in his bed anymore. He wants out NOW! He starts doing the baby flailing. Arms are going crazy and hands are grabbing his cannula and pulling them out of his nose, followed by trying to pull out his replogle. When he hears his Momma, he wants her! He's also really starting to root. Then he gets very upset that he can't anything and cries. It's an amazing natural trait that babies already know what to do and know where it comes from. BUT, Lambie will have to do until then.

Do you see this? Walkie has his arm wrapped around Lambie. Best friends forever!

Mrs. Wanda Sue bought Walker a very cute monkey outfit! It came with a onesie, pants, cardigan, mittens and socks. I made Nurse Courtney help me dress Walker up. He's not allowed to have his PICC line confined, it needs to be accessible at all times. That is why his arm is always hanging out. I'm not sure I filled all of you in on this. The socks actually fit too! The mittens were a lifesaver! He needs to keep those things under control!   It's very important to me to have photos of Walker in the things that people have bought him.

When I left he was sleeping peacefully in his bed.

He's waving bye.

Walker is weighing in at 2,265. That's about 5 pounds ladies and gentlemen!

"Mommy says I sleep just like Daddy with my arm in the air"

Day 103: Wednesday, February 8, 2012- Today we received the news that Walker's PDA closed! We are so very happy! That means one less thing to worry about and one less surgery for Walker. Thank you God!

I did not take any pictures today. I don't like that either.

Tonight R gave Walker his bath. I'm not fond of his nurse. f


Day 104: Thursday, February 9, 2012- My friend N bought this super cute outfit for Walker. It's like a wrap onesie, leg warmers and a "Mr. Muscles" beanies. 

"Would a Mr. Muscles please raise your hand?"

 Today, all the recliners were taken so I had a rocking chair. This was the first time to rock Walker. He LOVED it! He was in a trance and then slowly fell asleep. When I stopped rocking he would wake up. I need to get a rocking chair ASAP!

"This is new"

"I think I really like this"

"I'm getting very sleepy"

"Who told you to stop?"

"Not now, Lambie"

"Hey twin, get off me!"

Precious baby!

Tonight Walker is weighing in at 2,250 grams.

"Yes, I will be a wonderful mother"

 A Bumpie posted this one the Preemie board and I wanted to share.

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. 

I will be better not because of genetics, or money, or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have sat in the NICU and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at my surviving miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to an alarm going off, another round of meds or because I am crying tears for fear of the unknown.
I will be happy because my baby is alive and crying out for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a preemie with physical challleges or medical issues, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

Author Unknown

Walker Stalker Cookers

Do you see this? Do you see this? I LOVE THIS!!

I have AMAZING friends! Okay, we, we have amazing friends! Walker is so lucky and he doesn't even know it yet.

My friend J put all this together. Every other Tuesday all my girlfriends meet at a specific location and drop off the food, then someone brings it to our house. Check out what they brought!

There is a bunch of different stuff: chili, chicken spaghetti, chicken and dumplings, king ranch chicken, spaghetti, BBQ baked potato casserole, Mexican casserole, cookies, Wanda Sue's famous cookie dough, spaghetti bake, taco soup, and this concoction that K whipped up. I know I'm forgetting something.

 And my sister in law Julie made us her delicious lasagna and dropped it off with R on his way home!

And this my friends, is a VERY happy husband. So happy that he said, "I'm in heaven right now!"

We could not say thank you enough to all of you! We love you so much and thank you for thinking of us!

Days 95-99

Day 95: Tuesday, January 31, 2012- Tonight was Nurse Esther's last night before hervv trip to the Philippines. 

Look at the beautiful flowers Daddy got me for our 3 year anniversary!

Walker is weighing in at 2,240 grams. 4 pounds 15 ounces!

Day 96: Wednesday, February 1, 2012- The countdown to surgery begins. T-14 days.

Walker's new set of doctors have rotated in. Today they were concerned about his output in his bag. It has a tinge of blood, we already knew this. They wanted to make sure that the surgeons came by and assessed. New eyes keep a very close eye on things. I can't wait to meet them. They seem on top of their game.

Walker is weighing in at 2,250 grams. We are almost to 5 pounds; just a couple more grams, Little Bird!


Day 97: Thursday, February 2, 2012- Happy Groundhog Day, Little Bird. He saw his shadow so more winter. It's all lies though. It's 75 and humid, gross!

Walker is so funny. When R holds him, he shimmies up his chest. When I hold him, he shimmies down. He positions himself exactly like he was in the womb. It's cute, funny and so, very sweet!

When I look down, this is what I see. Walker face plants himself into my body.

 I would like to introduce you to Walker's primary day nurse, Nurse Courtney! Look at how snug Walkies is in her arms! He loves her!

Nurse Courtney!

Day 98: Friday, February 3, 2012- Happy 14 week birthday, Walker! You are 1 week away from your due date. I'm unsure how I will feel on that day. It's weird to think about.

Anyways, you had your first of many I'm sure, cranky moods today. I think it was because you weren't getting any attention from Nurse Courtney. There was a new baby and he needed more attention than you do. I overheard the nurses talking during shift change and I believe that baby has an infection. I'm freaking out that one of your nurses is going to pass it on to you and then surgery will get postponed. Praying hard that you don't catch it and that every safety precaution is being taken by your handlers.

Look at how LONG I am!

I got this cute little toy that has little birds on it! YAY!

He lifts his leg so R can kiss his toes.

"My Daddy is so mean. I can't reach my Lambie"

"Miss Julie bought me this outfit"

Posing in my cute outfit and super cute pants.

He shimmied down.

He can fall asleep anywhere!

"Zombie, zombie, zom bay hay hay"...The Cranberries, don't you remember them?

"Mommy doesn't like pictures without makeup. Kind of like I don't like pictures with the flash on"

He's like a Koala the way he can hang on!

Walker is weighing in at the same tonight!

Day 99: Saturday, February 4, 2012- No  new news with Walker tonight. I disliked his nurse. She's never worked with Walker before, actually, I don't think she's even on the "green team". Walkers stoma has prolapsed and she had no idea. She was annoying. I don't think she liked that I knew more about my son then she did.

Tonight was bath night and I was able to get a few of R bathing Walkies. He needs help sometimes so only a few.

"Oh, hey Daddy!"

"Don't forget under my arms."

"Go team, Go!"

"Uh, too close to my face!"

"Nom, nom, nom. My hand tastes so clean and yummy!"

"Don't stop, Daddy"

"All done!"

"No pictures, Mom! This is personal!"

"Look Momma, I pulled my cannula out!"