Negative Nancies

No, Aunt Nancy, I'm not referring to you.

Negative Nancies are all around! They come in all sizes, shapes and forms. They creep around with their horrible attitudes, dropping their unwanted or unasked for advice. Negative Nancies leave a bad taste in my mouth. YUCK!

The first time R and I were told about my "problems" was in 2007. I'm not going to even try to hide this, we lived together so we would do what people who lived together do ;). When we received the news, we knew we would be married some day and that we wanted to have a baby together. So, honestly, R and I have been trying to have a baby naturally for 4 years. During this time my lovely sister found out she was pregnant with my beautiful niece. I was excited for them and just unbelievably crushed inside. It's hard watching your friends and family living out your dreams.

And just last weekend at my sister's baby shower, my dear friend A brought up a question I've been lingering on. "What if it doesn't work? Just because you take it doesn't mean you'll get pregnant." I love A! So, so, so much! But her statement has been ticking in my brain for a week now. What if it doesn't work? Most of the time it does. I know of 3 ladies who have taken it and it has happened for them the first round. Tick, Tick, Tick.....

My answer to you lovely A: If it doesn't work we will do another cycle with a higher dosage. If that doesn't work, we will do a third cycle with a higher dosage than the second. If that doesn't work, prayers that it does!, then we will go back and take a closer look at what my body is doing. We will start another cycle with the same medicine mixed with another. WE WILL HAVE A BABY OF OUR OWN! I know in my heart that that is true.

I will close with this: If I have to practically beg you to be happy for us, you are not a person who truly cares about us. Get on board. Because the happy train that we have been riding on since I picked up my medication doesn't have ANY room for Negative Nancies!

Attitudes are contagious.  Are yours worth catching? 

- Dennis and Wendy Mannering

Hello Again!

What a long hiatus from blogging!

Life got busy! Nothing new to report. Still waiting for my cycle to start. Looks like I will need to call my doctor and get Provera to kick start my cycle for me. That's nothing knew either. I've taken it once or twice.

R and I had initially planned to start the meds after my internship was completed in May and allowing me some time to look for a job and begin in June. Well, how quickly things change! Jobs are limited all around us. There's little hope that I will find a position. Which is upsetting knowing I put all this time into a degree that is getting hit hard from the government. That's a whole other rant! So we are going to embrace this time. I've always wanted to stay home longer than what I get to take off when we do have a baby. This time allows us to get pregnant and have me lounging around the house (stress fress!) and start graduate school. I have nothing else to do, right? I will be applying for jobs, don't get me wrong, but I'm being realistic and know my chances. I will hopefully sub in the district or at the school where I'm currently interning.

We currently have our house on the market, in case you didn't know. I'm wanting to pull it because I don't want to move into an apartment and have a baby. No offense to those who have but it's not what I want to do. I figure we could take it off the market and do the updates that we had planned to do anyways and just enjoy it a little longer.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a very realistic person. I dislike pumping yourself up only to feel deflated when things don't go the way you had envisioned. I'm a huge daydreamer also!

I'm hosting my sister's baby shower next weekend so pictures will be up soon. I love the spring time!

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
 - Marilyn Monroe

Public Service Announcement

This is a PSA! This blog will be abandoned until this sickness I've encounter from the sicklings is gone.

Thank you! Come again!

Cancel, Cancel, Cancel!

I am bummed. I've had my certification test scheduled for a while now and with this crazy weather it was canceled this morning.


Side note: Did you know that canceled can be spelled correctly with two l's (cancelled)and with one? I'm a stickler for proper spelling and I had to google it to make sure. But now it's underlined with red like it's spelled incorrectly. I'm confused!

Along with my certification test being canceled, I had to cancel our reservation at the San Luis also. I had planned a relaxing night and dinner at the Steakhouse. The San Luis is an absolutely beautiful hotel! I loved having our beautiful wedding at the resort.

Maybe I should also write about what is going as far as baby making. I'm still waiting for my cycle to begin to start taking the medication. Remember earlier when I said that life always seemed to get in the way? Well, life has gotten in the way again. R's company announced that they are selling his plant. Who knows what will happen next but we are confident he has a job for a good year. We shall see. It's very stressing with me still in school and the shortages of teaching positions open. I have to keep telling myself: "Let go and let God".

Another road block is my weight. I'm not happy with it and don't want to get pregnant and have to be on bed rest or have any complications. So I'm currently dieting. I'll update when there's more to update! :)

There's a lot going on right now it seems like. It may just be me though. I stress over a lot and I feel like a lot of unknowns are being thrown my way.

Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day.  

~Author Unknown

Happy 2 Years to Us!

Yesterday, January 31st, marked our two year anniversary! Really? It's been two years?! Wow! Time has flown by. Nobody knew but we trying then (in our wedding picture) to have a baby.

Trying has been extremely hard on myself. Every month when my cycle would disappear I would get a pregnancy test and it would always come back a BIG FAT NEGATIVE! I keep pregnancy tests stocked in our cabinet like people keep condiments in their refrigerator.

Our troubles go all the back to 2007. That's when we noticed something was not right. All the sudden my cycles disappeared. A month went by, then two and then three. I clearly remember my doctor's appointment was on February 14th, Valentine's Day.  When my appointment came, they whisked me right into the ultrasound room to see what was going on with my body. The ultrasound showed that my "woman" parts were messed up. My ovaries had cysts and weren't ovulating correctly and my uterus lining was thinning. Dr. Milner ordered blood work immediately. Like the amazing doctor he is, he clearly explained what was going on. He thought that my body was showing the beginning stages of pre-menopause. I was distraught. The room was spinning. I couldn't remember anything from the appointment just the word "pre-menopausal". I called my Mom crying and she had to the office to figure everything out. What a fabulous Valentine's celebration for us!

When the test results came in I remember R and I sitting on the couch in our apartment, holding hands. This one phone call was our whole future. Dr. Milner had said he would call good or bad. Thankfully it was good news! My levels were not those of a pre-menopausal woman! YAY! Before we ended the conversation he told me that if we ever wanted to have  children then we needed to get started within the next few years. You know the old saying, "My biological clock is ticking", well mine really was!

A lot of people don't understand and we get it, kind of. I mean they don't know how bad R and I both want children. They don't understand what we've gone through to get us to the point where we are now. To those people I will say this: It isn't about you. I hate, hate, hate when people say, "Oh, y'all are still so young", "What about a job?". GET ON WITH THE GET ON PEOPLE! First of all, I'm clearly not that young. I'm 26 and my body is just getting older. This has nothing to do with my health either. There is nothing that I can do to fix my body, trust me I've asked! Another thing, who ever said that I was going to school to get a job or a career? That's mine and R's decision! Right now that's the plan but I don't need anyone giving me advice about my life. People are so concerned with other people's lives.

That being said, is one of the reasons this blog is private for the time being. I don't need other people's opinions. I don't need the negativity. Another reason for this blog's privacy is because if it doesn't work the first time, I don't want all the "I'm sorry" or the "It'll happen when the time is right". Those aren't positive or encouraging. If it sucks then say "That sucks".

A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.
Eda J. Le Shan

The starting of a new blog...

When I first started this blog back in the summer it was to chronicle the process of R and I trying to have our first baby. Then trying took a backseat to me finishing up my last full school year of my Bachelors degree. Now with only a few short months left until graduation in May, we are ready! Well, we've always been ready but life has gotten in the way.

From the start we've both said that family is a must. We just haven't agreed with a final number of children. I want a large family because that's what I'm used to and I love babies! R is indifferent about the amount. We will just have to get through the first one and decide then.


R and I aren't as blessed as others to conceive a baby on our own. Like many women in America and around the world, we will be using modern medicine to help with the creation of our wonderful bundle. This is a way that family and friends are able to take the journey with us. 

Let me first start off by saying that the misfortune is all mine. I don't ovulate properly which is the main step in conceiving a baby. My absolutely, wonderful doctor of eight years, Dr. Milner, has been fantastic to work with. We've discussed all the options and I adore how straight forward he is with me. This is my third visit that we have discussed this particular medicine and I've already educated myself, as well as my entire family, on the prescription.

This blog is going to be just like the writer: very open, animated and possibly graphic. This is a very special time in both of our lives that we are filled with nervousness, anxiety, anticipation and hope. A baby changes everything and we want all of that everything!

This is our moment!
This is our time!

So sit back and enjoy the ride along with us!


"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body"-  Elizabeth Stone